Here I sit, at two am, reflecting on my time both in Salem and overseas. I know that I've been changed. I'm much firmer in my beliefs and there's other things that I cannot explain. I know that things were accomplished in all countries that we were in. However, some things are on my mind that I just can't sleep with until they're gone.
I sat here just now, wondering if I did right by fellow team members. I put myself out there 100% for relationships with the locals, and yet only 75% for my team members. I didn't notice until I sat here looking at pictures and realizing that most pictures that were taken of me were a mere by-product of attempting to capture someone else. I know that I was indeed loved by everyone that I knew and became friends with, but I'm not sure that I went as deep as I could have. To all of my fellow DTSers, I am deeply sorry if I did not get to know you as well as I should have. I'm sorry if I was ever more concerned with resting than getting to know one of you a bit better. I hope you accept my apology.
Tomorrow, I see James. I'm so nervous that I don't know how to respond. I need the strength of God to see him and feel nothing; no pain, no feelings, nothing. I need to stay strong and out of his life. I want him to stay out of mine. However, I will not walk away from prayer, which has been my home for many years now. I will not let a bad relationship and bad breakup steal that from me. I refuse to let the enemy win this one. I will not be held down or back by a silly issue such as this.
About Me
- GerBear
- I'm crazy to put it lightly. I love God and I love my neighbors. Most of them anyway. The ones that live down the street kind of suck. ;) I have a sense of humor and I love to have a good time. I'm the girl that you see driving down the highway singing and dancing at the top of her lungs. I live carefree but with caution. I'm laid back but uptight. I'm a walking, talking, breathing paradox. I have been compared to the likes of Drew Barrymore. I'm a natural blonde that dyed and cut her hair out of sheer boredom. I love me and I think you will too.
Goodbye!
Thank you! Come again!
1 comment:
I appreciate your sensitivity to everyone's feelings on the team, but I think it's important to realize that 'doing everything you could' means that you would have to be able to be in at least two places at once. I never regretted one moment that I spent with you. The good and the bad ones.
And with James, I pray that your meeting with him goes well. Don't feel the need to impress him with anything. Ask him lots of questions. Guard your heart, but also don't be afraid to be the same Dina that all of us got to see develop over the last 5 months.
:-)
-nate-
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